I regret not having time to write lately: Viata has proved to be busier and more tiring than I ever expected. I don’t know if it is the schedule or the language or the homesickness but this has been far more exhausting than LaVida or Berea. I wish that at this time, I could say it is also more rewarding, but from my current perspective, I cannot. This summer has been by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done, for so many reasons. I’ve written many times during my time here about the distance. And it does not cease to be so wide. Even the joys here, which are growing more numerous by the week, are bittersweet because I know that I will only be able to share them with my loved ones over the internet. If I have learned one thing here, it is the value of an encouraging, challenging and supportive community and that is in the forefront of my mind when I consider plans for Post-Romania.

But back to the present. Although hard, I feel that I have found my place at Viata. The most difficult part is to understand where cultural expectations play a role in my interactions with people. I work with a staff of mostly high school aged Romanians. So I have to consider their maturity level, as well as being raised under completely different circumstances. I therefore find it so difficult to figure out when to call people on things and when to let go. I will give a typical example, which of all things has to do with food. At the cabin where I stay, I keep a stash of food because the food we eat at Camp tends to make me sick. Time after time, leaders will eat this food. This is because Romanians consider all food to be free reign. If you can find it, it’s yours. Kind of a throwback to Communism. Anyways, this has frustrated me to no end, since I’m on such a tight budget. It has also made me think a lot about how American culture is really built on the idea of private property, a concept so new to these people. So I muttered something rash to myself about adjusting to Romania once after something was taken, and another leader heard it. She then told the other Romanians and my American friends that I thought Romanians were thieves. So this is a hard situation… how do I express that although I don’t consider them thieves it’s hard because from my cultural framework, what they are doing is stealing of a sort?

People hurt or offend me, and I never know what to do, because I still don’t know the rules they are playing by, and regardless it is nearly impossible to change the rules my heart plays by. And of course, when I am the least sure of myself, old doubts come rushing back. I look around at my North American friends and perceive that life is all roses for them. Surely they don’t struggle. Surely I am inadequate in cultural sensitivity. It is a hard line to walk, and I suffer many frustrating defeats.

But despite this, there are victories. I have been hesitant to offer advice or corrections to their work here, although I’ve found the Adventure Education field here to be so young and underdeveloped. However, I offered a debriefing workshop, and it was encouraging to see that very week so much progress made in the ways leaders look at that aspect. If anything, these people are eager. My Romanian has improved so much in the past weeks- the kids and leaders are so enthusiastic about helping and encouraging me.

I have met new wonderful people at Viata and have been able to deepen my friendships with the New Horizons Staff. I’m especially close to Laura and Alex, a strong pair of siblings that I live with. Laura is an inspiration as she stands up for her dignity as a woman in this culture and also provides for herself and Alex while facing a dehibilitating illness. Alex has become like a brother to me, in all senses of the word. He makes me laugh and sometimes makes me furious, and sometimes he doesn’t know which is the most appropriate. He hangs out with me and likes to play games on my computer while making me listen to his death metal music.

I could write so much more, but this entry is already too long. I have two more weeks of Viata and then straight into the first ever Northwestern abroad semester. I’m excited for the fall, but really trying to suck the marrow out of the rest of the summer.